Remember when Saturday Night Live was good? Me neither. But hey, let's not be too hard on them. Coming up with new jokes, especially when it involves writing for a different celebrity host each week, cannot be easy. I'm supposed to update this blog that often and I can't even do that. And that's nothing compared to an hour and a half variety show. Right?
Well I don't know. Let's look at a few things. First, there's the commercials. The commercials during the show are so long that the actually come back from the commercials just to show the set, and then return to the commercials without having done a single new skit. With that much time spent in commercial, that means nearly have the episode is commercials! Once you factor those out, the musical guests out, and the weekend update segments that are written by Seth Meyers alone, then what you're left with is only about 40 minutes of actual material. And considering that most hour long TV shows have run anywhere from 42 to 48 minutes per episode, that mens in this hour and a half show you are getting less material then your standard hour long TV show! That's almost nothing!
Then to make matters worse, they seem incapable of actually filling those 40 minutes most of the time. There is at least one skit EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK. that seems to be written specifically as filler. They're easy to spot. They go on kind of forever without ever really making any kind of joke, but the sort of half joke they have they keep doing over and over again until this thing that wasn't funny from the beginning has been beaten into the ground until death is more than certain.
And the worst part of all is that it seems to be an absolute requirement that they hire at least one person who is guaranteed to not be funny. Like Kevin Nealon. Or Dennis Miller. Or Jimmy Fallon. Ugh. Jimmy Fallon. I thought he was the lowest point, the absolute bottom SNL could have sunk. He was so bad, he blamed Will Ferrell for making him laugh in each skit. Too bad he continued to laugh in every goddamn skit regardless of whether Will Ferrell was still in the cast or not. But despite everything, he did not prove to be the worst. Oh no. However bad he was, skits could still be funny with him in them. He didn't suck the funny right out of it, not in the way that only Kristen Wiig could.
Kristen Wiig has hands down got to be the LEAST funny person to ever exist. I have a theory that she is not a person at all. Much like evil to good, she is the actual opposite, the antithesis, if you will, of funny. She is a black hole that sucks all the funny in existence straight out of the universe until nothing remains for the rest of us to enjoy. Yet despite this she appears CONSTANTLY on the show, in almost every single skit. It seems almost as if someone is paying to have her on the show so much, because I couldn't possibly imagine why else she'd be there. It's as though it were part of the Devil's secret plan to ruin life for all still upon the earth. I know this is going kind of far, but trust me when I say that she is that bad.
And in the end, they are paid mucho dolares and I am paid nothing, so it doesn't make a lot of sense to compare my failure to do, to theirs. SNL isn't always bad. They've been funny from time to time, and of course no TV show is always going to be funny. Nothing that runs for 30 years is always going to be perfect. I know that. You should know that. But that doesn't mean the show doesn't have some serious faults. Quite the contrary. And what I do on this blog is point those faults out. So SNL: fire Kristen Wiig and then attempt to fix yourself from this hole you have sunk in. I'm sure you can get out of it. You have before. Just...never that well.
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